Feeling Invisible
by Twinstar1
Summary: This is a one-shot in Riku's POV about his feelings for Sora. Please R&R and let me know what you think!


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but wish I was the master mind who did.  
  
Summary: This fic is a one-shot about Riku and Sora. It is all in Riku's POV and is based on the song, "Invisible" by Clay Aiken. Personally, I don't like the song, but I thought the lyrics would make a good fanfic for the two. I hope you enjoy .  
  
**Feeling Invisible**  
  
We have known each other for so long now, yet, you still don't know everything about me. I have kept so much from you, but it's not like I wanted to. I was afraid and had no choice but to hide it. If I was to tell you, you would probably run away from me, and hate me for the rest of your life. Oh, how I would miss that beautiful, brunette hair of yours. Out of all the wonderful things about you, I think I would miss that goofy smile of yours the most. I could never go a day without seeing it upon your face at least once. Your laugh, your kindness, your loyality, and how naive you are, all contribute to making you so great.  
  
_What ya doin tonight, _

_I wish I could be a fly on your wall_  
  
I always wonder what you're doing when I'm not around. My curiousity sometimes gets the best of me, and I sometimes go crazy. Even when you are with me, my mind still goes crazy, crazy for you that is. When we go home together after school, I dread leaving your side, even though we live right next to each other. One night, I had to see you after I was forced to remove my gaze from your body as you closed the door. I first went to my house, to drop my bag. Then I left, and walked up to yours. I climbed the tree that grew between our houses. I crawled across the one branch that lead to your room. I felt like I was invading your space, but I couldn't help myself. I piered through the curtains that were partially covering your window. As I did, you walked in. I immediatly moved my body to the side, so you couldn't spot me. As a few seconds past, I figured it was safe to look again. So, I did. You were laying on your bed. Your face was looking up towards the ceiling, but you had your eyes closed. You also had your arms folded behind your head, adding to how cute you already looked. The looked upon your face, was almost like you were pondering something, but what, I wondered.  
  
_Are you really alone, _

_Who's stealing your dreams?_  
  
I longed to know what, or who was on your mind. I wished so much, that it was me. My heart wished it was true, but my mind told me it wasn't. It was saying thing to me like, "You know he doesn't think the same about you as you do towards him. He probably never would, because you're a guy. He doesn't go for that kind of thing. You should know that." Of course I knew that, and it hurt to think about it.  
  
I continued to look into your room and watch you as you fell into (what I thought) to be a deep sleep. I placed my hand on the window and thought about what I always drempt about us doing together. As my thoughts started to get more intense, I got closer to the glass. I didn't realize it, but I was so close, my breath was forming steam on the glass.  
  
_Why can't I breathe you into my life, (so tell me) _

_What would it take to make you see that I'm alive?  
_  
I continued my dirty thoughts about you. I imagined me, climbing through the window and hovering above you, like a hawk. I would watch you sleep, so peacefully. I would get ever so close to your face, and want to touch it ever so gently. I would become, only but inches from your lips, and I would long for the contact. A chill ran through me as I thought about the moment I would be able to touch those gorgeous, delicious looking lips of yours.  
  
_If I was invisible, _

_If I could just watch you in your room, _

_If I was invincible, _

_I'd make you mine tonight  
_  
My imagination continued to run out of control as I stared at you more. I began to sweat a bit, as the passion grew in my head. It was torture to have these thoughts, but only to awaken and find out it wasn't real. I wish I could tell you all my secrets, my feelings, everything. I just thought about how badly I wanted to be in the room with you, holding you, kissing you, or even just standing there with you. If only you knew.  
  
_If hearts were unbreakable, _

_And I could just tell you where I stand, _

_I would be the smartest man, _

_If I was invisible, _

_Wait, I already am  
_  
The next day, we were walking to school, just like we always do. The images from the night before were still inside my head. I could picture everything just perfectly. Even though I was right beside you as you walked, I still felt like I was a million miles away. As some of our friends met up with us, it made me feel even more distant. You would laugh, and smile at them, but pretend like I wasn't even there. I tried to get your attention, over and over again. But it was no good. It was heartbreaking to feel that way.  
  
_Saw your face in the crowd, _

_I call out your name, _

_You don't hear a sound_  
  
As we continued to walk down the street, I watched your every move. I watched how your hips swayed and your hair gently move in the wind. I felt like I was hypnotized. When you would glance at me, I saw your eyes sparkle as the sun was being reflected in them. It was as if I could see your soul. There was something missing though, as if there was something I couldn't read. It was your thoughts. You had something on your mind, but to not know, was killing me. I wish you wouldn't leave me in such mystery. Then again, it's one thing that attracts me to you in the first place.  
  
_I keep tracing your steps, _

_Each move that you make, _

_Wish I could read what goes through your mind, (oh baby) _

_Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life  
_  
With each thought I had of you, they increased in intensity. As I looked at you, I began to feel hot, and my mind started to cloud over. I became oblivious to my surroundings and all I saw was you. Those images from the night before, and every other night (or minute shall I say) was being burned into my head again. I started to picture you in your room again. I also seen myself in the daydream, with you. We were on you bed and we were involved in what had to be, the best kiss ever. Then again, any kiss from you would be the best kiss, especially the first one.  
  
_If I was invisible, _

_If I could just watch you in your room, _

_If I was invincible, _

_I'd make you mine tonight  
_  
As we began to heat up even more, I slowly pushed you so you would lay down on your back. Our kiss became more intense and you were kissing me back with such force. Your hands were trailing up and down my back, as I held mine on your hips. I then slowly brought my body down upon yours, and you tensed up at the contact between us. I could feel your smile on your lips as your breathing began to quicken. As we broke the kiss for some much needed air, you began to speak. As you were about to say those words that I so longed for, I awoke, back into reality. I thought to myself, just how impossible it was for my dream to ever be real. I also wondered, how long I could go, without telling you. I felt like I was going through a very slow and painful death.  
  
_If hearts were unbreakable, _

_And I could just tell you where I stand, _

_I would be the smartest man, _

_If I was invisible, _

_Wait, I already am_  
  
After school was finished, I decided to go to the other island. I wanted to, well, think things through. This was such torture to my mind, and heart. I needed to get if off my mind, or at least try to. It was inevitable though. As soon as I arrived, I immediatly thought of you. My eyes traced the sand, only to be guided over to the secret place. My feet started to move towards the small cave, without me even realizing it. I was in a trance. Something was calling me there, to the one place where you and I met so long ago.  
  
I moved some vines and cobwebs out of the doorway, and I then entered. I walked through the dark, entrance that curved to the left. It was always dark in there, and it added to the mysteriousness it held inside. The long, small tunnel, then lead to an almost round den-like room. There were some roots and branches growing through the wall and there were rocks and small boulders on the ground. Then I caught sight of some pictures on the wall. I found one that you made with Kairi. I don't get what you saw in her. It was clear that you had a thing for her. I could tell she felt the same for you too. I stretched my hand out, towards the drawing of you and her. I wished it was me you were looking at, instead of her. My finger began to trace your face. It was as if I was looking at the real thing.  
  
_I reach out, _

_But you don't even see me_  
  
Those familar feelings were beginning to build up in me again, and I couldn't hold it this time. I closed my fists and I yelled out your name. My head was tilted back and as I brought it forward, tears rolled down my cheeks. I could handle it anymore. I was going nuts. I kept wishing you were by my side, holding me, and telling me you loved me. My head began to ache as the tears continued to pour.  
  
_Even when I scream out, _

_Baby you don't hear me, (you don't hear me)_  
  
I began to calm down as the pain became too much. I wiped the tears away with my hand and I found myself feeling weak. I looked up at the wall and I stared at the drawing. I turned my head to the side as I thought about it. I closed my eyes and began to picture you, again. I then heard a noise, faint, but I know I heard something. I opened my eyes and turned my head to my right. Then I saw the sight I had always wished to see during my time of need. I saw you....my beautiful, blue-eyed, angel. I couldn't believe it. There you were, standing just feet from me. You have stood that close to me a million times, but when I feel the want I have for you, the closeness seems like heaven.  
  
I stood up and was facing you. You smiled at me as I walked closer to you. I felt like melting as I stared into your eyes. You reached out your hand to me, and I was very willing to take it. As I reached out my hand to capture yours, something began to feel wierd. My hand was so close and just as I was about to grab it, something happened. My hand should have made contact, but instead looked like it hit a wall of mist. I looked into your eyes again, and moved my body closer to yours. I then rushed forward, with my arms stretched out to hug you. I soon found myself on the ground. I looked behind me once I sat up and found only more mist. I figured out what had happened. I only drempt you were there. You were never there to begin with. I lowered my head once again, and I realized I had never felt so lonely as I did at that moment.  
  
_I am nothing without you, _

_Just a shadow passing through  
_  
The next few days, I was very distant from you. You always tried to get me to talk, but I just never felt like it. I felt bad for the way I was acting, but after what happened to me, I didn't really want to face you. I hated keeping things from you, and this was the biggest one of all. It was tearing me up inside. It killed me when you would have that cute, yet sad expression on your face as you worried about me. It was getting to the point that I wouldn't be able to handle that much longer either.  
  
One day, we were on our way back home from school. We walked together, but it felt like we weren't. I couldn't talk, or even look at you. You were starting to get really sick of it, and I couldn't blame you. As we got to my house, you stopped as we got closer to the door. I was about to walk in, but you told me to stop. I looked back at you, but was not totally shocked. I knew you were going to say something sooner or later. You walked up to me and told me to turn around. I wouldn't. I was too ashamed of myself. You got mad as I refused. When I heard you ask me again, but in a more serious tone, I did as you requested. My eyes were red, and it looked as if I was about to cry. Your eyes widened and your mouth opened abit. You got closer to me, and you placed your hand on my shoulder. You asked what was wrong with me, but I just lied and said nothing was wrong, and I shugged off your hand from my shoulder.  
  
I looked into your eyes and could only read the hurt you were feeling. I bowed by head, and turned around as I headed for the door. I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. I hated myself for what I did to you. As I was about a foot from the door, you yell at me to stop, again. This time I was surprised. I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me after all that. You walked up to me again, and stood behind me. I couldn't see it, but I sensed that you lowered your head as well. I could hear in your voice that you were upset and I then turned back around. I could see the tears falling from your face. I got close to you, close enough, that I wrapped my arms around you.  
  
_If I was invisible, _

_If I could just watch you in your room, _

_If I was invincible, _

_I'd make you mine tonight _

_If hearts were unbreakable, _

_And I could just tell you where I stand, _

_I would be the smartest man, _

_If I was invisible, (I'd make you mine tonight)  
_  
We cried together, and I held you tightly. You looked up at me and asked me, so sincerely, what was bugging me. I couldn't lie to you anymore. I just had to tell you. I looked into your eyes and grabbed your chin with my hand. The look in your eyes, showed me passion, love and trust. I knew that no matter what I was about to tell you, you would still be my best friend. I took a deep breathe and spoke those words, that I never thought I would ever be able to say.  
  
"Sora....I...well....I really care about you. Well, it's not just that I care about you. I um.....I love you Sora. I..always have, and I always will. I hope you can forgive the way I have been acting. It was very hard for me to finally tell you this and I would be more hurt if you wouldn't be my best friend anymore, than if you told me you don't love me."  
  
A tear rolled down my cheek as I said that last part. I closed my eyes, but they shot open as I felt your hand, wipe away that tear. I looked deeply into your gorgeous, blue, soulful eyes, and saw the same feelings in them, that I was feeling myself. You smiled and tilted your head abit.  
  
"Of course I forgive how you've been acting. I truly understand what you were going through. I didn't want to tell you, but the same thing was happening to me. I have been having those feelings, about you, and I wasn't sure how to handle it. I had my days where I didn't want to see you, because I was afraid of letting it out at the wrong moment. I'm glad you told me though."  
  
You pressed your body a bit more against mine, and you brought your hand up to my face. I closed my eyes as I layed my face into you hand.  
  
"I love you Riku. No matter what happens from now on, I will always be your best friend, and nothing will ever change that. I promise."  
  
For the first time in my life, I felt so at peace. I was so incredibly happy, and nothing was going to ruin that moment. Nothing ever did, and never will. I have been so full of life since that day, and I know, that even if something was to happen between us, we will always be best friends, and that means so much to me. More than you'll ever know. You are my land, my sky, my angel, and my life. I just love you so much, now and forever.  
  
_The End   
_  
Well, how was it? I know it was kind of corny, but the idea just kind of appeared in my head, and it would have bugged me if I didn't write it. This is my third Kingdom Hearts fanfic, and I did like how it turned out. Actually, I liked how all of them have turned out so far. I was thinking of making a another version of this, maybe one rated NC-17. I'd be great if you guys would tell me what your opinion is, and I'll see what I can do. Thanks and please R&R!!!! .


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